Monday, June 14, 2010

"It's JUST stuff!!!!!!"

Yesterday was bad. My mom and I got into a fight..over stuff. How ridiculous, right? I mean, it's just stuff. But my mother doesn't see it that way. My mom sees stuff as "memories".. ok, I get that. Looking at certain things, like my 120 year old picture of my Great great grandmother hanging on my wall evokes memories of it hanging in my grandparents' dank, scary, dark basement with it lit up just right to make her look super scary. (P.S. Husband HATES that picture, he thinks she's freaky looking. I can't deny it, but I love her. :)

I get it. But when it's something that you're just over and you don't care about it anymore, what does it matter if I get rid of it? Years ago, my uncle started buying my sister and I expensive Spanish porcelain angels. He bought me ten in total which is well over $1,000 invested. My mom and dad one day bring over this china cabinet and all 10 angels. "Oh, umm.. wow, you brought this over. Umm..thanks.. ?? Mom, I told you that I don't have room for this and I really don't want them." Mom of course ignores me..

Husband to me: "Why didn't you tell me they were bringing this over? We don't want this in the house, we don't need it."

Me: "I didn't know they were bringing this over, they just loaded it in the truck and dumped it on us. I don't want it either!!"

Now, I understand why my mom brought this stuff over, but I just don't want it. She tried to bring it to me in AZ 2 years ago, but luckily since I was a 14 hour drive away, it wasn't as easy to do these things.

So, I told my mom, hey, I don't want the angels, I don't want the cabinet. It's just too much responsibility to have these things. Too much space taken, more cleaning I have to do. I'm trying to be more of a minimalist, keeping the stuff that I absolutely love and adore. I don't love those angels, I'm over them. So, luckily, my sister agreed to take the lot, including the cabinet. Whew. Still, she was angry at me. Stating that "my uncle bought these w/ the intention of us enjoying them and them reminding us of him." Great. But still don't want them. Too much space and I don't want to have to clean them.

Anyway, yesterday I dropped off more goods, like $600 worth of Waterford crystal. Just not into it anymore. It's beautiful but I don't have a place for it. And I know she'll love it. She just got so ANGRY with me and chewed me out over getting rid of "memories." Not memories mom, stuff. STufF, STUFF, stufF!!!! That's all it is.

Hey, if you want to have a 3000sqft house full of stuff, then that's your thing. If I want my 1100 sqft house to be minimalist and comfortable, respect that. Thank you. I just hate to see my mom turn into my grandma, who had more of an attachment to things, than her family.


Jodi said...

This is a powerful comment: "I just hate to see my mom turn into my grandma, who had more of an attachment to things, than her family."

My great grandmother stopped accepting "things" as gifts when she was in her 60s. She was minimalist in nature her entire life and though she kept a few items important to her, she didn't want to become a china collecting grandmother with knick knacks in every nook and cranny of the house. Instead, she asked for time. She wanted an afternoon of walking or help planting a garden or tea for two. I think I lucked out in having a grandmother who chose to share her time so freely, and thought so little about trinkets and photos.

Seems you have more of the important things figured out than your mother. I wish you luck!

LL said...


Thank you for your comment. Your grandmother definitely was on track with the important things in life! What an inspiring woman! :) It took a few years (and a move to a different country) to teach me what is most important, but I'm glad I'm figuring it out now and not 40 years down the road when it could be too late.