Happy New Year!

Well my dear readers. What a ride 2009 has been for me and let me tell you how extremely grateful I am that God put me through all of the trials and tribulations of the last six months of my life. It has definitely been a time of growth, development, reflection, and change. Most of those months I had regretted moving to Dallas, questioning myself and God's motives for the change. In those six months I went from working a part-time job, to two part-time jobs, to nothing. From dating a complete and utter jerk who was extremely insecure and emotionally abusive to feeling hopeless about my love life.

My, my...how interesting it is to go from desperation and hopelessness to feeling on top of the world. As I sit here and type this, I am on my lunch break at my full-time job. As I had mentioned before, it is due to one person (and God's grace) that I have this position and I couldn't be more grateful. The timing was perfect..as it had always been planned out and now I feel as though I am able to make a difference in what I do. I won't go into full details but I am working in the mental health field and my clients are homeless; I will be assisting them with housing as well as coping and managing their mental illness. The humbleness that I feel that God has put me into something with such responsibility is indescribable.

For Christmas I got a full-time job, for New Year's, I got the most incredible, amazing, supportive, intelligent boyfriend. Things with us have progressed at an alarming rate and while both of us feel the fast progression, we are feeding off of it and enjoying every minute we spend together. With us there is open communication, no pressures, no insecurities, no games...it's all about us enjoying each other's company, appreciating each other for who we are, and being each other's support system. We both love Christ and work continuously at putting him at the center of our relationship because we know it will only strengthen us as a couple. I couldn't have asked for a better person to come into my life..and at the exact moment I needed him.

So, my readers. Happy New Year. May 2010 be the best year of your life. May you continuously grow, love without reservation, pray everyday, and know that things will always get better.

Less than a week to go...

I start my new job on Monday, the 4th, which is my Dad's birthday. I am so excited to say the least. I have two weeks of training before I can start work. The pay is a HUGE cut from my last position but I have a feeling that I will love this job so much more that it as long as my bills are being paid, it won't matter.

My mom and I have been talking about this.. What determines success? Is it the amount of money you make? My definition of success is having job satisfaction--doing what you love and being good at what you do. My uncle on the other hand looks at me with disappointment because here I have a Masters degree but I'm not out doing sales or another job "where the money is". I don't get it. Having a lot of money would be fantastic..but what good would it be if I were miserable all of the time? Isn't coming home at night being grateful for what you have worth more money? To me it is... I'm going to be working with individuals of our community who do are struggling just to get by DAILY. They're going to have a variety of things that they're dealing with.. substance abuse, getting/keeping a job, mental illness, oh yeah, and HOMELESSNESS. What greater reward is it to use my time on this Earth than to help others?

So, readers, your turn. How do YOU define success?

An early Christmas present

Okay, I admit it. I'm a horoscope junkie. I don't buy into it 100% but I do enjoy reading it and seeing how things are going to go in my life. On Monday, this is what my horoscope read (I'm a Cancer by the way)...

The race is on and you're ready, fit, and raring to go. You have to move quickly before the window closes. Just two more days until everything shuts down, so keep the pedal to the metal and get this one signed, sealed, and delivered as a Christmas present by tomorrow.

Interesting, I thought. Maybe this will truly mean something! I hope so! Well, yesterday I went to the gym for an interview, to work the front desk. My friends who work there were kind enough to let me know that I could work the front desk until I found something else. Shortly after I got home from the interview (and my workout) my mom took my phone to call my uncle. During the conversation, she handed me the phone and said that I had a phone call. I clicked over and it was C, a woman I had interviewed with last week.

**Back story**

I've been on a dating website for about a month and a half now. I've been on a few dates with guys but most recently I have been seeing N for almost two weeks. He works in mental health and has been very supportive of me finding a job and helping me out. He has been a correctional officer before and plans to eventually work full-time with sex offenders once he completes his Masters degree...it's nice to have someone understand my desire to work with convicts. Anyway, he forwarded me a few non profit organizations to check out and submit a resume. Luckily, one of the three places was hiring and I was called for an interview almost immediately. I got myself prepared and prepped, excited, and ready to roll. When I got there though, it was like speed dating for jobs. There were three sectors of this organization that were hiring and about 20 other people there for an interview. Unfortunately, the sector I wanted to work for, the homeless services sector, was hiring for only one position. I thought the supervisor and I clicked very well and we had a good interview, but I was also aware that there was about 20 other people and ONE job, so I had to make an impression. They told us we would hear word back after Christmas. I left the organization with my head low, discouraged once again.

***

Back to the phone call, C called to inform me that she was allowed to call me before the holiday to inform me she wanted to hire me on to work as a case manager for the homeless. :) *SHOCK* I couldn't believe it. I got off the phone and screamed. I will be starting the New Year, 2010, with a job. A job that will hopefully be an amazing learning experience and very fulfilling to my soul. THIS is what the six month wait was about. Learning, growing, praying, being patient..never doubting God had a greater plan in mind for me.

Thank you, readers, all two of you, for your understanding, lack of posts, and rambles these past six months. Things are looking up for Miss LL. Hopefully things will just get even better with the months to come.

Struggling...

Today is one of those days I feel broken. I look around and it's 1pm, I'm still in my PJs...online, looking for jobs. I don't understand it. I went to school for six years. SIX YEARS so that I could have a good job..not a six-figure job.. just a job where I could use my skills and abilities and pay my bills. Six months later.. I'm still looking.

Most days I'm so positive.. I put a smile on my face, look around, say, "It could be worse... it will get better." But I just NEED it to get better. Soon.

Texas: Born and breed. Back again.

Texas is my new home and I am thisclose to becoming a resident once again. (I was born here and lived my first five years in TX but then moved due to the military) I ran around downtown today with my new friend and got my vehicle registered but since I didn't have a birth certificate or passport, I couldn't get my license. I did get a Tolltag though, and that makes me officially feel like a Texan. Haha. No more stopping at the toll booths and paying, No ma'am, I can zoom right through like everyone else. :) Anyway, seeing those plates go on my car just felt good. I'm moving on from my old life and moving forward with a new one. Now, I just have to go and get my license and then it's official.

Another turning point today is that my douchebag brother-in-law did something very non-douchey. He got me a second part-time job. *Shock* Yes, he in fact learned at his job that they needed someone temporary, on contract only, to do some data-entry...and he thought of me. Surprised? I was floored. Anyway, it will be great to feel like I'm working full-time and nice to have the extra income! It's no fun to go from making a decent income, debt-free, and a nice savings account to teeny income and no savings! I'm just going to continue to work hard, fatten up my bank account as much as I can, and then when I find a full-time job, really feel start saving saving saving!

Right now this week has been off to a great start and I'm feeling more and more optimistic as the days pass. As I continue to just ease off the control of my life and allow God to do his part, I'm finding things are going much more smoothly!