Monday, August 31, 2009

Dark days

Last week was hell. Literally. I think I was in deep mourning for my job in Tucson and for about 3 or 4 days, I was in complete and utter crazy mode. I would cry for no reason, wanting to tear my hair out, in complete hysterics. This would happen without warning, especially at night time. I even took a pregnancy test to see if maybe that was the culprit messing with my hormones. Nope.

Anyway, I prayed. Hard. I talked with a good friend that I have made down here and we talked it out. And then I continued pray. Then I figured I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to go back to Tucson. That was home. I didn't fit in here. I didn't belong here. That was the thing to do, move home. So I called and asked to for my job back. Denied. And the strange thing is...once I heard that...I felt a weight lifted. I felt so much better and since then, I'm happy and getting better.

My boyfriend and I are working out those weird quirks in a new relationship (he hasn't had a relationship in 4 years!) and smoothed things out this weekend. Wow, things are so strong between us it is so fun and scary at the same time. We mesh. And that is an amazing thing. He was insecure because I kept talking about Tucson. How much I missed it and how I wish I could have moved back. He kept hearing me talk about my life...without him in it. Now I see that I have been doing that, I'm working on moving forward, to my new life in Texas with him. :)

Whew. Life. What a ride.

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