Well my dear readers. What a ride 2009 has been for me and let me tell you how extremely grateful I am that God put me through all of the trials and tribulations of the last six months of my life. It has definitely been a time of growth, development, reflection, and change. Most of those months I had regretted moving to Dallas, questioning myself and God's motives for the change. In those six months I went from working a part-time job, to two part-time jobs, to nothing. From dating a complete and utter jerk who was extremely insecure and emotionally abusive to feeling hopeless about my love life.
My, my...how interesting it is to go from desperation and hopelessness to feeling on top of the world. As I sit here and type this, I am on my lunch break at my full-time job. As I had mentioned before, it is due to one person (and God's grace) that I have this position and I couldn't be more grateful. The timing was perfect..as it had always been planned out and now I feel as though I am able to make a difference in what I do. I won't go into full details but I am working in the mental health field and my clients are homeless; I will be assisting them with housing as well as coping and managing their mental illness. The humbleness that I feel that God has put me into something with such responsibility is indescribable.
For Christmas I got a full-time job, for New Year's, I got the most incredible, amazing, supportive, intelligent boyfriend. Things with us have progressed at an alarming rate and while both of us feel the fast progression, we are feeding off of it and enjoying every minute we spend together. With us there is open communication, no pressures, no insecurities, no games...it's all about us enjoying each other's company, appreciating each other for who we are, and being each other's support system. We both love Christ and work continuously at putting him at the center of our relationship because we know it will only strengthen us as a couple. I couldn't have asked for a better person to come into my life..and at the exact moment I needed him.
So, my readers. Happy New Year. May 2010 be the best year of your life. May you continuously grow, love without reservation, pray everyday, and know that things will always get better.
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Work, Life, God, and everything in between
Well, I now have two part-time jobs which is very nice because it keeps me so busy. I do enjoy bathing and drying dogs but it is stressful, it is physical, and it is smelly...so I definitely treasure coming home, showering, eating, and then heading to a desk job for 4 hours. Apparently they really like me out there and they're trying to find a way to keep me full-time.
As for the Air Force, I won't hear anything until the 21st. Still many weeks away but I am so close. I have debated what I am going to do if I get selected. On one hand I was completely ready to compromise my future to be with my new boyfriend...I know that sounds nuts. You don't have to tell me that. I know how he loves Texas and his job...he would never leave. I thought, "Hmm. Settling down near my family would be nice. And the fact that he's not going to leave is even better." But after the drama that has taken place, I think that I need to get out of here. I'm not finding the success so far that I had hoped, i.e. a full-time job, and I am trying to be patient. But the more time I spend living with my parents, the more I want to get.out.now.
Don't get me wrong, they are amazing people. I just don't have my space. I can't come home after a bad day and just do nothing because they want to know everything. I'm not used to that. I like to keep my bad days to myself, I like to have my space and my quiet time. I'm not getting that. So when I do not feel good and I just want to be alone it just makes my bad feelings amplified. I know that my parents care about me and they just want to be involved in my life but a 27 year old girl needs her own place. I'm trying desperately for that, my own place...but until a good paying, full-time job comes through, it's not going to happen.
Most of my days are filled with happiness anymore...but then there are the days that come, when I am sad, and I think of my situation. And I agree, it's pretty lame. I have it WAY better than most people. I live in a beautiful house in a great part of Dallas with two people who care for me and love me. I shouldn't be so down. Perhaps the reality of not being independent has really sunk in and that is hard for me to accept. I have always been independent. I have been on my own since I turned 19. I think marriage and children have been desiring that after being unmarried for 2 years now. I want to be settled again
I know that I have to move forward otherwise the desires of my past will be my desires...and that is no way to live. I'm not. I'm going to keep my head high, know that God has a plan for me, hope that the Air Force is in my future, and carry on.
As for the Air Force, I won't hear anything until the 21st. Still many weeks away but I am so close. I have debated what I am going to do if I get selected. On one hand I was completely ready to compromise my future to be with my new boyfriend...I know that sounds nuts. You don't have to tell me that. I know how he loves Texas and his job...he would never leave. I thought, "Hmm. Settling down near my family would be nice. And the fact that he's not going to leave is even better." But after the drama that has taken place, I think that I need to get out of here. I'm not finding the success so far that I had hoped, i.e. a full-time job, and I am trying to be patient. But the more time I spend living with my parents, the more I want to get.out.now.
Don't get me wrong, they are amazing people. I just don't have my space. I can't come home after a bad day and just do nothing because they want to know everything. I'm not used to that. I like to keep my bad days to myself, I like to have my space and my quiet time. I'm not getting that. So when I do not feel good and I just want to be alone it just makes my bad feelings amplified. I know that my parents care about me and they just want to be involved in my life but a 27 year old girl needs her own place. I'm trying desperately for that, my own place...but until a good paying, full-time job comes through, it's not going to happen.
Most of my days are filled with happiness anymore...but then there are the days that come, when I am sad, and I think of my situation. And I agree, it's pretty lame. I have it WAY better than most people. I live in a beautiful house in a great part of Dallas with two people who care for me and love me. I shouldn't be so down. Perhaps the reality of not being independent has really sunk in and that is hard for me to accept. I have always been independent. I have been on my own since I turned 19. I think marriage and children have been desiring that after being unmarried for 2 years now. I want to be settled again
I know that I have to move forward otherwise the desires of my past will be my desires...and that is no way to live. I'm not. I'm going to keep my head high, know that God has a plan for me, hope that the Air Force is in my future, and carry on.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Dark days
Last week was hell. Literally. I think I was in deep mourning for my job in Tucson and for about 3 or 4 days, I was in complete and utter crazy mode. I would cry for no reason, wanting to tear my hair out, in complete hysterics. This would happen without warning, especially at night time. I even took a pregnancy test to see if maybe that was the culprit messing with my hormones. Nope.
Anyway, I prayed. Hard. I talked with a good friend that I have made down here and we talked it out. And then I continued pray. Then I figured I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to go back to Tucson. That was home. I didn't fit in here. I didn't belong here. That was the thing to do, move home. So I called and asked to for my job back. Denied. And the strange thing is...once I heard that...I felt a weight lifted. I felt so much better and since then, I'm happy and getting better.
My boyfriend and I are working out those weird quirks in a new relationship (he hasn't had a relationship in 4 years!) and smoothed things out this weekend. Wow, things are so strong between us it is so fun and scary at the same time. We mesh. And that is an amazing thing. He was insecure because I kept talking about Tucson. How much I missed it and how I wish I could have moved back. He kept hearing me talk about my life...without him in it. Now I see that I have been doing that, I'm working on moving forward, to my new life in Texas with him. :)
Whew. Life. What a ride.
Anyway, I prayed. Hard. I talked with a good friend that I have made down here and we talked it out. And then I continued pray. Then I figured I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to go back to Tucson. That was home. I didn't fit in here. I didn't belong here. That was the thing to do, move home. So I called and asked to for my job back. Denied. And the strange thing is...once I heard that...I felt a weight lifted. I felt so much better and since then, I'm happy and getting better.
My boyfriend and I are working out those weird quirks in a new relationship (he hasn't had a relationship in 4 years!) and smoothed things out this weekend. Wow, things are so strong between us it is so fun and scary at the same time. We mesh. And that is an amazing thing. He was insecure because I kept talking about Tucson. How much I missed it and how I wish I could have moved back. He kept hearing me talk about my life...without him in it. Now I see that I have been doing that, I'm working on moving forward, to my new life in Texas with him. :)
Whew. Life. What a ride.
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