Healthy life..Happy life

My mom is really depressed. Sometimes she'll tell me she thinks she has nothing to be happy about in her life. I call her bluff and give her a laundry list of positives:

1. She has a job (a good paying job, no less).
2. She has a beautiful home that she is able to afford.
3. She is healthy despite being overweight..she doesn't have any major health problems yet.
4. She has a great marriage and relationship with my dad. 38 years this August!
5. She has great kids who are doing well and are happy.

My mom likes to counter this with her list of negatives. We won't get into those but let's just say, she's being a tad bit over reactive. I think a lot of her negativity stems from her weight. My mom is a tall lady, 5'10" and is EXTREMELY beautiful for her age. Her skin is flawless. Honestly, she is one of the main reasons why I wear sunscreen, I want to look like her in 30 years. She is a beautiful beautiful woman.

When I got married in 2001, Mom and I went on a major lifestyle overhaul for the wedding. We started working out faithfully and eating healthy. By the time I got married, we both were smokin' hot. Ever since I've moved from home, my mom's weight has been gradually increasing. When my mom is heavy, she's unhappy and it consumes her life. She just can't say no to food. I tell her all the time that I want her to be around for her future grandkids, that I need her around and she knows this but she lacks motivation.

To make a long story short, (too late?) my mom needs me at this point in time. I'm afraid that something is going to happen to her and it will be too late. She takes for granted that she is healthy (for now) and that she has her longevity genes on her side. When I move to Texas, I've told her more than once that she is not going to like me anymore. That she is going to get really mad at me for completely rocking her world, but that's too bad. She told me that that is what she wants (boy, she doesn't know what is coming to her).

What I'm driving at is that when you don't look good, when clothes don't fit right, when you feel heavy and unattractive. NOTHING seems right. I'm finally getting my health back on track and let me tell you, waking up everyday is such a pleasure. Lifting up my shirt and checking out my shrinking abs is the coolest thing. Ever. I love that my cheekbones are starting to show, that my thighs are getting thinner, that I have toned shoulders, and that my calves are starting to get more toned as well. When you feel good about yourself and your body...even if you're unemployed with no money coming in, no future job prospect, no boyfriend, and no social life (haha), LIFE is good. And you feel better.

My mom needs that. She deserves that. She deserves to feel good about herself in her older age (57). But, it's not going to be easy. It's going to be a long, hard battle for the two of us (and my Dad who is going to unfortunately witness this battle) but she needs to know that life can be better for her. I've struggled with my weight since I was 11 years old. Wow. 15 years of struggling with weight. Over half of my life. It's only made me a stronger person because I've had to work harder than most people. And I'm okay with that. Please, take care of yourself. Make healthier choices, start exercising, and stop thinking about yourself. Start thinking about the people who love and need you before it's too late. Because there are people out there who care about you and your well-being.

Yay! I got a bike!

Yesterday I decided that I can't sit around for 12+ hours and watch endless satellite TV so I gathered the girls, a water bottle, and their portable bowl to see how far we could walk. Whoa. Dumb idea. When I knew I should stop and turn around, I didn't. Eventually I walked us to the park 3.5 miles away. Now, you're thinking, I can do that. Well, yeah. 3.5 miles isn't that bad. It's the other 3.5 miles going back (and when I had blisters from the day before, yeah, stupid I know). So we took a breather, hung out for a bit, and trudged home. It was nice to be home, the whole walk across town took about 3 hours in total. On the walk home, we walked past a pawn shop where there were some bikes outside. I slowly walked past and noticed a pink cruiser; I have wanted a bike for some time now but just haven't done anything about it. I made a mental note to go by today and check it out.

First thing this morning I went over there and checked out the bike. It's a Trek Wasabi in Pearl Pink. Now, I know nothing about bikes. I haven't had a bike since I was 13. The sticker price was $220.00. I was hoping to spend under $150 at this point in time. Lucky me, I saw a sign that said "All Bikes 50% off." :) <<---yeah, that was me. Smilin. Mama does love a bargain. So I asked the sales clerk if I could ride it around the parking lot. Luckily, I did not fall and bust my lady bits. Told her I'd take the bike if she'd take $100 for it. SOLD.

Anyway, got home, did some research and found that the bike retails for $379.99. Couldn't have had a better bargain. It's in great condition. The handles are made of cork and there's a small chunk out of one of them and they're dirty from general use, as are the pedals. The seat looks brand new and there is just minor wear everywhere else. I ran to Play It Again Sports and got a helmet, lock, and light.

Went on a ride, and let me tell you. It was so exhilarating and freeing, I don't know why I waited so long to get a bike. One of the girls who was looking at the other bikes told me I was one pink basket away from being the coolest person on Earth.

Now it's off to find a basket so I can go grocery shopping and used bike trailer so I can pull the girls along too! Hope you all are having a great weekend!

The beginning of change...

I'm officially done with work now until...I find a job in Dallas or until I get in the Air Force. It was very bittersweet leaving today because I will really miss my coworkers. We worked in what was called The Dungeon; all nine of us. When I first started there the girls were so vicious and horrible to me that I almost quit. I finally found my niche, began fitting in, and a year later, will desperately miss them. Two of them are now engaged (to each other) and getting married a year from today, I left my "work husband", and many many fond memories of times with all of them. :( When I first started there I LOVED my job and hated my work environment, now I hate my job and love my work environment. Change is always hard and as I said goodbye, I had to choke back tears knowing things have forever changed. They knew I was not happy there, they supported me, stood behind me, and built me up when I was down. I will most definitely continue to keep in touch with them and try my hardest to make it back to Tucson next year for the wedding and see them all again.

I'm sitting home alone with the girls, in silence. It's a good feeling. It's also a sad feeling. I hope I can survive these next 30+ days alone and packing up my things. Sometimes I wish I would have just sucked it up and not broken up with boyfriend yet, but like I said, what is the point, it was inevitable. In 30+ days I will have my family surrounding me and my most favorite person on this Earth just 3.5 short hours away.
Here's a toast to me and my future and all the uncertainties it brings...

Only a few more hours...

Lots going on.

So tomorrow is officially my last day of work, I'm turning in my notice! This means I have a little over a month to get packed and ready for my move to Dallas. The more I think about it the more excited I become.

1. Get to see my nephew as often as I want. My sister works 16hr shifts on the weekends so she has all week off!
2. My sister and I are going to train for a 5K. I somehow talked her into it.
3. I can help my mom get on track with healthy eating and exercise. I told her she's not going to like me very much but she'll get results.
4. I'm going to be living rent free in my parents very comfortable house; I'm excited about incorporating lots of swimming into my exercise.
5. I've applied for a number of jobs, I'm hoping I hear back soon from any of them.
6. I get to spend time with my family before I go into the military.
7. My very best friend in the whole wide world will be a very short 3.5 hours away. I can go see her every weekend if I want!

Oh, I will miss Tucson, miss the friends I'm going to be leaving, but I'm ready for my new start. New place, new job, new life. I have no strings on me!

Which brings me to another topic...I broke up with boyfriend on Saturday. It's a whole other blog but let's just say it was inevitable. He says he never wants to get married again and he does not want his own children (yet he has no problem dating a woman with kids?!). We're still going to remain friends, he owes me too much money. Haha. But I've been building myself up to this so it is not entirely devastating. It's sad that Tucson is a chapter of my life I'm going to close, but right now I have the world at my fingertips. I get to start over. How many people get to do that? I'm.starting.over. Fresh slate. And in a few months, I will become a commissioned officer and start my military career.

Tomorrow I want to get a boombox, put it on my shoulder circa 1985 and blast George Michael's Freedom.

The start of life changing...

I hate the world today

You're so good to me

I know but I can't change

Tried to tell you

But you look at me like maybe

I'm an angel underneath

Innocent and sweet

Yesterday I cried

Must have been relieved to see

The softer side

I can understand how you'd be so confused

I don't envy you

I'm a little bit of everything

All rolled into one
Chorus:

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover

I'm a child, I'm a mother

I'm a sinner, I'm a saint

I do not feel ashamed

I'm your hell, I'm your dream

I'm nothing in between

You know you wouldn't want it any other way
So take me as I am

This may mean

You'll have to be a stronger man

Rest assured that

When I start to make you nervous

And I'm going to extremes

Tomorrow I will change

And today won't mean a thing
Chorus
Just when you think, you got me figured out

The season's already changing

I think it's cool, you do what you do

And don't try to save me
Chorus
I'm a bitch, I'm a tease

I'm a goddess on my knees

When you hurt, when you suffer

I'm your angel undercover

I've been numb, I'm revived

Can't say I'm not alive

You know I wouldn't want it any other way

Lyrics courtesy of: http://www.musicfanclubs.org/meredithbrooks/bitc.html

Life is too short.

Duh. We all know that. But why don't we ever pay attention to how short it is until something tragic happens? It's only when a young child passes away or when the media focuses on Natasha Richardson or Jade Goody do we step back and go, damn. They were so young, they had families, they had lives. And now they're gone. What about me? Could that happen to me?

We complain about our jobs (GUILTY!), our love lives (GUILTY!), the fact that our lives aren't going as we had planned them (GUILTY again!). It's time to take a stand. It's time to say, Damn it. This is not what I had planned. Time to do something about it. That's what I'm doing. I'm taking a stand. I'm saying, this job sucks, and I'm not going to take it anymore *shakes fist*. In two weeks I will be unemployed. I have no job lined up. And I'm okay with that. I need a break. I need to focus on what I need to do next. Do I wait in Tucson until my job with the county comes through? Do I move home with my parents so that I can spend time with my family? I need to do what makes me happy. I'm going into the Air Force. I WILL get approval from the board. This what I want to do with my life. I want to serve my country and travel the world. I want to be back in the military lifestyle and culture. It's where I fit. That's my problem; I haven't fit in anywhere here yet and it has had a major impact in my life.

It's been a roller coaster these last two years in Tucson, being a single woman after 10 years. I've learned, I've grown. I've made some mistakes. I've made some good friends. I found my two pups which have made my life so much happier. Is it time to move on? I guess I'll find out soon.

LOVING!!!

If you've ever seen the movie Conspiracy Theory with Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts, you know that every time Mel Gibson sees the book Catch-22 he has to buy it. Well, I have a confession to make. My Catch-22 is composition books. That's write (lol..ok, it was cheesy), that black and white speckled notebook we all had as kids. I can't resist them. I love them. I love the look, the feel, the fresh, clean paper...Yeah, I'm a bit obsessed with them! And I generally pick one up when I see them. Imagine my glee when I found this via The Sale Rack:

It's available online through Fishs Eddy for $5.96. LOVING IT! Also, check out these other great finds, I'm going to definitely pick these up:
This set of four with lids is only $11.85! Seriously, I love the vintage feel of these. Anyway, they have a great sale going on. Just thought I'd pass it on to you! :)

Military...

Right now I'm working on getting my package together for the Air Force; this includes an application with a lot of previous employment information as well past residences. I am also working on my letters of recommendation; right now I have five that I'm going to submit to the board for consideration. It's looking like it will take several months up to a year to get into the Air Force. I'm optimistic, I know it will take time but I'm excited to get the process rolling.

I also have to go to the hospital to get a physical; get my blood drawn and check to make sure I'm healthy enough to serve. I'm not sure when any of this will take place, but I'm READY! Sign me up! I ordered the Air Force Officer's Guide from Amazon and got it in the mail, so I'm going to prepare myself for the things that I don't know about the Air Force. It's going to be interesting, I've seen the other two sides of the Air Force, being a dependent child and a dependent spouse and I think those two experiences can only help me succeed.

I've been running although I definitely need to step it up; maybe when I get to Dallas I can sign up for a 5K with my sister and that will give us motivation to get healthy (and get my running in order!)

I'll continue to keep you all updated and see what's next and how long it's going to take!

Edit: Awww, just talked to my sister. Told her about the 5K idea and she said she'd rather walk at a brisk pace. When I told her we're gonna run, she said, "If you can do it, I can do it." Way to go Sis! :)

Deciding what to do.

The time is coming closer..time for me to quit my job! :) I decided that May 1st is going to be the day. I figure this will give me a little under a month to get packed up and get prepared for my move to Dallas. My family is really excited, I'm getting there! I really wish things would have worked out with the County job, but what can I say? Timing is not right.

So I was doing some research yesterday about how I'm going to move. When my parents moved from Missouri to Texas, they used the PODS and were really satisfied with them. What better way to pack up your stuff and have some one else move it? I went on their website yesterday to get a quote. From Tucson to Dallas for their smallest POD (I think 10ft)--hold your breath. $1200! Are you kidding me?! Wow, what a way to say goodbye to my Emergency Fund. All this time and effort of saving this money to use as my living expenses until I find a job in Dallas...just to be used for moving. Ugh. I've done other research with U-Haul and it will be around $800-900 to drive a truck and tow my car. Man, I knew that moving was going to be expensive. This is just a blow to me...and my savings. I'm still going to figure out what is the cheapest, most effective method. My parents offered to drive here and help me move. I really don't want them to have to do that but maybe I'll take them up on their offer. My dad has a Pontiac Vibe so we could fit quite a bit of stuff in the back of his car..OR he would probably bring his Suburban and then we could fit a LOT of stuff in the back. Hmmmm...Any suggestions?

In other news, I've lost six pounds! I'm really adjusting to Nutrisystem and I love the way my body is starting to look. My abs are shrinking as are my thighs. When I went camping my friend who hadn't seen me in a year said that I didn't even look the same. She asked me what size I was and when I told her I was the same size, she told me that I looked like I had lost 20lbs! :) It was a good compliment, I'll take it. My shoulders and arms are really starting to get toned and my upper chest area is looking really great too. Amazing what some diligent exercise and portion control can do. :) I'm hoping to lose at least 10 more pounds before I move to Dallas to blow my family away. And I'm hoping before summer gets here I will be able to wear a bikini. My parents have an in-ground pool so I'm looking forward to adding swimming to my daily exercise.

Weekend shenanigans

Whew! It is good to be back in Tucson after a nice 4 day weekend of camping in the California desert, but geez, it wasn't an easy trip!

It all began when boyfriend asked if I brought the credit card with me in case of an emergency. Mistake #1. He jinxed us! Shortly after we had a massive flat on the trailer and of course, our spare was flat too. Nice. So we whimpered to a gas station to fill it up. I took a nap and woke up to the engine knocking. And it was loud. So we got into Yuma and called our friend to see if we would be okay to continue in. Luckily we made it to Cali and went to our friends' house and he couldn't figure out what the problem with it was. We drove to the desert and forgot about it til we left. We decided to leave the truck and trailer at our friends' house because they know some really good diesel mechanics that can diagnosis and fix the problem without ripping us off. Off to rent a car...

I reserved a car in an airport as small as my cubicle and that hasn't been updated since about 1972 and go to pick it up. Well, because I didn't have a credit card on me, they run my debit card through and do a credit check. Problem was that I have fraud protection on my account and so the credit check wouldn't go through...and they can only run my card through ONCE. So they could clear up the credit check problem but can't run my card through for another 24 hours. And there is no other way to pay for this car. At all. (And no, they would not let me get on the phone with my bank to get authorization to run my credit card through.) I storm out all upset and starving and hungry (which is not a good thing) and have no clue what to do. Luckily the guy ran out and said that the other rental company might have a car that we can use on a one-way to Tucson. They have the same policy as the other one, of swiping the card once and running a credit check but we were lucky and it went through. Whew. Had it not, I don't know what the heck we would have done. After an hour of all of this nonsense, I finally got a car. Whew. And I got to go home, finally. *Moral of story, never, ever forget a credit card when going on a trip.*

Anyway, I would post pictures of our trip but my camera got SOAKED in my bag when we were hunting for geodes and I got about 3 whole pictures of our trip. Great. Luckily after we got home, I charged the battery and the camera is now working. Thank goodness. WHAT A TRIP for sure.

I don't know what is wrong with the truck yet, but I'm praying that it is cheap to fix. This truck is just a money pit..

Anyway, it was a great weekend in the desert. The girls had a blast and we went running a few days that we were out there. It was nice to spend time with old friends and get away from the world for a few days. I keep looking at the calendar thinking that I only have a few more weeks at this place until I'm in Dallas. This makes me both sad and happy. I don't really want to move yet, but I don't think I have much of a choice unless I find a new job...

Victory is mine

I DID IT! I got my AFOQT scores today and found out that they are sufficient enough to continue through the process. YES!!! I'm going into the Air Force!!

okie dokie

I apologize for being away for such a long break. I've been busy in mind and body! I took the AFOQT last Thursday so I will be getting my results back sometime this week. A lot of people on the AF forums have been saying the AFOQT was much easier than the practice tests...let me tell you, not so much! I finished a lot of sections with MINUTES left over and some sections I ran out of time before I could answer them all. I'm confident in some areas, not so confident in others. Let's hope that I will be selected! If not, then obviously the timing for me going in is not right and I will wait the requisite six months and take it again! So, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers! :)

As for the diet/exercise. I've gained a pound (after losing 4!) so I'm back 100% on Nutrisystem. I've also increased my exercise--I'm working out in the AM doing weight lifting/cardio and then the girls and I go running. In the evening I've been doing Yoga to stretch out my body. When I move to Dallas though, I will become a gym rat again, I can't wait! :)

I will be going camping this Easter weekend, Friday through Monday, in the hills of California. Let me tell you how excited I will be to escape the madness of everyday life and experience the beauty of the outdoors and living simple.

I hope you all are doing well. I'll be in touch. :)